Prior to getting married, many dating couples aren’t thinking about marriage verification services. After all, since neither of them have ever been married, what’s the big deal? However, if you are dating someone with a background you don’t know well, especially if you are an older dater, it is important to perform a marriage verification check.

This check can be performed online in some states, while others will require you to visit a country hall of records. If you are dating a foreigner, start checking online. Some countries, like South Africa, have centralized registries of marriages that were performed in the country. Others, like Argentina, have paper records that are housed with local governments, requiring some time to perform a search.

None of this is to imply that dating someone outside of your immediate circle, or someone you haven’t known your whole life, is a bad idea. Of course, most people are going to be honest with you about their past dating history and any previous marriages. On the other hand, television talk shows are full of sobbing women and angry men spouting the same line, “I didn’t know they were married!”

You don’t have to put yourself through the same pain later when you can find out up front about the marital history of anyone you are dating, no matter where they are from. Marriage verification searches are simple and discrete. Your partner never even has to know that you looked.

Perhaps they didn’t want to scare you away with a past divorce, or perhaps they just didn’t want to talk about it. However, full disclosure and honesty are the only way to build a strong, lasting relationship in this day and age. In our mobile and disconnected society, hiding past relationships can be easy. Fortunately, you don’t have to accept secrets—just get the facts.